Tuesday, 28 August 2007
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tell me this isn't true
i came home last friday afternoon to find my sister cookiing dinner in the kitchen since our helper was still with our grandparents at don carlos. i remember her wanting to tell me something but then she just dismissed it and said, "what you don't know won't hurt you." ever since then i just couldn't help but think what it could be. i figured it could be about her having an earlier departure for manila and the u.s.
a few minutes ago, i logged into my friendster account to find that someone i knew posted a bulletin to congratulate her boyfriend for passing the nursing board exam. i was shocked since i didn't know the results were out already. my sister would have told me they were. she did, after all, have to retake that cursed exam again beacuse of those insolent cheaters back in june 2006. so anyway, i reluctantly checked the site referred to so that i could check for ate's name. nada. nil. her name was nowehre to be found.
a surge of tears welled up in me and i couldn't help but cry after perusing through pages in search of her name. this is my sister, for crying out loud! how can she not pass? but then, i can't find her name anywhere. could this be what she wanted to talk to me about last friday? the results did come out. after all, on that day. i'm still shocked. i just can't bring myself to believe it. what happens next?
this feels like the end of the world to me. the person i've looked up to for most of my life has this as her baggage. this scares me even more so to go back and take nursing. because if this happens to her, can't it happen to me too?
oh god. i better ask her tomorrow for details. i have to know if my eyes are deceiving me.



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